After living with Pluto back and forth on my ascendant for quite a while, I am starting to get used to it, although at times, it feels like getting swallowed by a gigantic monster over which I have no control, especially when it has been lingering in the 12th house. For the moment it is 8,4 days away from going direct again, and finally leave my 12th house for good this time. Throughout my journey I have yet to encounter a power more tangible and present than that of Pluto’s. And how odd; since it is the smallest little ice-lump out there, even been demoted and stuff. However; after surviving the last couple of years long-hard-transits of Pluto first opposing my Moon, then opposing my Saturn, then conjunct the nodal axis and now finally crossing my ascendant; whilst at the same time squaring itself; I must say; I can not be making this shit up. The themes of death and regeneration, confrontation, power-powerlessness; in depth processes (I thought I knew myself before all these Pluto transits; bah!), emotional transformation; a dealing with the shadow of my own sub-conscious.
Pluto is “da bomb” as the kids would say it. It is beyond compromise and deals only with clearing the path. Jeffrey Wolf Green calls it the Soul, whereas other evolutionary astrologers calls it the evolutionary impulse of the Soul; both of which reflect back on enormous powers for us to tap into , if we could just get out of the way. In order for us to experience the power that we are; it is of utmost importance that our patterns of dependencies are confronted; and what better way to do that than through some good-ol-rejection. When friends are gone, family left and you feel utterly alone ; where do you find the strength and what do you create ? When nothing around you gives you the confirmation that you think you need; where do you go? When death calls on someone near; how do you continue living? For me, the answer has been to delve into my inner being, through raja meditation; (thought seed meditation), through yoga, through contemplation and creativity. The challenges of Pluto can be so rough, that a healthy life where there is room for expressing emotions is necessary. We can’t fake it with Pluto, we have to go through the motion. There are no short-cuts; first we have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
As I was meditating this morning; I realized what my soul is about, or at least I think I understand. If I simply adhere to my soul, I have to express my utmost passion to the world and no matter how much I at times twist and turn to get away from that; for me it is astrology, or rather; consciousness and its evolution and cosmology.
I have had; and maybe still have a hate-love relationship to astrology. I hate the fact that we are not thought very high of in society; and obviously that sort of credibility I still crave; I hate that it gives me the opportunity to know so much, sometimes too much, it confronts me with my own fear for the future. I often think that living without astrology would be easier; I could live in a state of ignorance; And life would be easy as the life of a skeptic; sticking to what science can prove is what paves the way for most people. In many ways, this seems like an easier option. Living with astrology is living in a greater universe; trying to figure out the macro-aspect of it, not just dealing with what is materialized. Through the years I have seen that both of these two issues of anatagonism relates directly to the state of my emotional life and thus to Pluto, which works on developing the emotional capacity inherent in all; we have to be stronger to carry bigger challenges. Otherwise we will opt for a life in safety based on survival, based on the appraisal of others; the comfort of the consensus.
If I am to call myself an evolutionary astrologer; I have to deal with the soul and what it is, I can’t skip the theme. The consensus attitude is that believing in the Soul is being religious, we say that the Soul has a plan, a purpose; and that is for some, thinking higher of life on earth than it deserve. However; when we look at everything around us, it all has a purpose; the material plane is filled with purpose. An entity of life cannot exist without finding a function; even a parasite has a function. Nature is so filled with this sense of order and intelligence, perfect with it’s anomalies. But that is just the physical plane. What I am exploring is the plane of consciousness.
With the nodal axis trotting through Sag-Gemini; what you believe in (Sagittarius) was bound to come under the critical light of the left-brain oriented Gemini. And many times we see the Sagittarian archetype turn into the Pollyanna sort of alternative, who believes anything just because there is an intuition that there is more “between heaven and earth”. These are the more devotional types who revolt the rational, academic mind, it is too wordy and analytical. Intelligence will always breed doubt and doubt is so necessary to move to the next level; which is again surrender (knowledge has a boundary).
Being born with the nodal axis in Gemini-Sag myself, I have had an interesting time during this transitt. Natal Pluto is in my ninth house and Saturn has been conjunct Pluto this year. And on top of that I have had Pluto on my ascendant; the nodal axis on my Moon, nodal axis and Saturn; LOL is all I can say. In the depth of my doubts I have the astrology of poetry going on in my chart. For those acquainted with the language; these are the transits of doubt and with the awesome potential of total rebirth with Pluto on the ascendant. I was slow to get out of the womb when I first came, this new birth has been equally slow, but with Uranus squaring the whole process; light is ahead; I have a Promethean High in the process; cos it makes sense and is simply poetry in motion.
In case you are going through a though Plutonian process and meet up with the ultimate Bad, find courage in Uranus and the insights that you can gain. And always, when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death; use your lamp. Only shadows are frightening, even if going through the motions can be painful.